California's Hidden Caregivers Deserve to Be Seen

By Karla Seijas

OPINION – Caregiving in a military family often means finding balance in shifting circumstances. As a combat veteran living in California, my husband’s experiences from war didn’t always leave visible marks, but they influence how we and our children move through life together. I’ve learned to anticipate challenges that might upset our balance, plan ahead, and provide the steadiness our family depends on. That is the work—and strength—of a military and veteran caregiver.

From the outside, it can look ordinary. Yet much of it is invisible work—watching for signs of stress, canceling or shifting plans on short notice, and keeping daily life running smoothly. For a long time, I considered this work a routine part of my life as a loving veteran spouse. Even my children, who help shoulder this responsibility, didn’t think of themselves as caregivers. But then we realized something life changing. Yes, we are a veteran family; but we’re also caregivers. Naming the role helped us look for support. And we are far from alone.

An estimated 14.3 million Americans provide care to service members and veterans living with injuries, illnesses, or other complex health needs. Since 9/11, a growing generation of younger veteran spouses—many here in California—have taken on caregiving while raising children and working, while pursuing school or volunteering in their community. Research reflects what families live every day: most military/veteran care recipients manage chronic conditions or sensory impairments, and many also face diagnosed mental-health or substance-use conditions. These needs shape daily routines; they aren’t outliers. They are common.

I’m proud to be a Latina and a veteran spouse. My caregiving doesn’t come from culture, it comes from love and necessity. But representation still matters. When caregivers of diverse backgrounds share our stories, we expand how the public understands who caregivers are and what support truly looks like.

So, where can families start? One national resource to know is the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, which supports America’s military and veteran caregivers—the spouses, parents, children, friends, and neighbors who shoulder daily responsibilities so wounded, ill, and injured veterans can thrive. Its Hidden Heroes public awareness campaign lifts up those of us providing care, and its Hidden Helpers coalition focuses on children growing up in caregiving homes—offering community and practical pathways to support.

Connection with others is also something that too many caregivers lack. My biggest challenge was finding others who understood this life—far from military installations or specialty clinics. Through the Elizabeth Dole Foundation’s online military and veteran caregiver community of over 3,000 caregivers like me, and later through the Foundation’s Dole Caregiver Fellowship Program, I found others like me. Caregivers who understood my reality, because it is their reality, too.

For me and others in my shoes, a one-hour appointment can absorb half a day, and daytime services support me and my veteran rarely fit around jobs or school. That’s why resources and services must reflect modern family life, offering military culturally competent providers, Spanish-language access, telehealth and evening options, and childcare support during medical visits. When systems see the whole household, veterans do better—and so do those caring for them.

California can make these resources and services easier to reach. In Sacramento, state lawmakers can strengthen language access, expand access to military culturally competent behavioral health providers, and promote evening and virtual options so working caregiver families can use care. In our cities and counties—from Sacramento to Merced—local leaders can fund peer connectors in schools and clinics, partner with community groups to host caregiver meet-ups, and align childcare support with medical and counseling visits.

Caregivers aren’t only spouses or parents. In many California households, a sibling, adult child, parent, friend, or neighbor is the one making sure meals happen, rides show up, and plans bend when a hard day arrives. If that sounds like you, your role is real—and it deserves recognition and support.

I share my family’s experience because thousands of California families are living a version of it today—many without a name for what they do. Give it one. Then reach out for help. Explore organizations like the Elizabeth Dole Foundation and look for local or virtual circles that fit your life. When caregivers are seen and connected, veterans do better, families grow steadier, and our communities get stronger.

Dr. Karla Seijas is an Elizabeth Dole Foundation Caregiver Fellow and holds a Ph.D. from the University of California, Merced.

Originally published in Capitol Weekly