Caring for Veterans

Originally published in MyRGV.com

By Gabriela Headen
2025 Dole Caregiver Fellow, Texas

Caregiving is one of those roles that rarely announces itself. It doesn’t begin with a title or a formal introduction — it begins in the small moments, the ones you step into because your family needs you.

That’s how it unfolded for us in Brownsville. I saw myself as a wife, mother and working professional. But slowly, as my husband Tommy’s injuries from his military service revealed themselves, caregiving became part of my everyday life long before I ever used that word.

Tommy is a post-9/11 Army veteran who lives with PTSD, traumatic brain injury, anxiety, depression, memory loss and other service-connected conditions. When he retired, we imagined something simple and steady — attending our kids’ school events, building our careers, finding a predictable rhythm. Instead, our household became centered around managing symptoms that are often invisible but deeply disruptive. Some days were manageable. Other days were overwhelming.

In 2018, I earned a medical assistant certification and began working full-time in the medical unit of an immigrant shelter for unaccompanied minors. I loved the work and felt called to it. But by August 2019, Tommy’s declining mental health made it clear that I needed to step away from the job I had worked hard to achieve. Caregiving became a full-time responsibility, and the emotional and financial strain that followed was something I was not prepared for.

What made it harder was the isolation. Friends and neighbors care deeply, but unless they have lived with the unpredictability of PTSD or TBI, it is difficult for them to fully understand the daily challenges. Finding support locally — for myself and for our children — was incredibly difficult. Eventually, I had to search beyond my immediate community to find people who understood our experience.

That search led me to the Elizabeth Dole Foundation.

Joining the Dole Caregiver Fellows program gave me access to something I truly needed: connection. EDF brought me into a national community of caregivers who understood the complexities of supporting a wounded veteran. Through their programs, I gained access to mental-health resources, practical guidance, peer support and educational tools that helped stabilize our home life. Their encouragement helped me rebuild confidence and find a path forward — not just as a caregiver, but as an individual with goals of my own.

With that support, I continued my education and graduated in June with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice and human services. I also volunteer at my daughter’s elementary school, something that brings me joy and keeps me rooted in my community.

Here in Texas, there are so many families who are already doing the work of caregiving without realizing it — spouses coordinating care, children supporting aging parents, siblings stepping in during moments of crisis, neighbors helping veterans navigate the daily tasks that have become difficult. My hope is that they see themselves in my story and know they are not alone, and that resources like the Elizabeth Dole Foundation are available to them.

Caregivers are the quiet stability behind so many veteran families. When we strengthen caregivers, we strengthen veterans, families and entire communities.

Texas has an opportunity to embrace and support this essential part of our military community — and our state will be stronger for it.

Gabriela Headen of Brownsville is a caregiver for her husband, Tommy, a post-9/11 U.S. Army veteran.