Hidden Hero: A Veteran's Second Calling as a Caregiver and Elizabeth Dole Foundation Fellow
San Diego Veterans Magazine recently had an opportunity to visit with Katherine Chih, a retired nurse and massage therapist from Oceanside whose life changed when she stepped in to help a U.S. Navy veteran friend and manage his medications. What started as a favor became a full-time commitment as a military-veteran caregiver.
SDV Magazine: Tell us a little about your story and how you became an Elizabeth Dole Foundation Caregiver Fellow.
Katherine: People often tell me my story is unique, but to me, it's simply my journey. After retiring from the military, I spent a few years traveling the world, enjoying the freedom that came with it. Eventually, I felt called to do something more meaningful. I went back to school to become a massage therapist, focusing on Oriental acupressure techniques with the goal of helping veterans experiencing phantom pain.
While in school, I met Aaron, a retired Navy veteran, who asked if I could help him manage his appointments and medications. Neither of us knew then how much that decision would change both our lives. I began using my training to help him manage his PTSD symptoms--and the results were immediate. Seeing that transformation inspired me to shift my focus from phantom pain to helping veterans with PTSD.
As for how I became an Elizabeth Dole Foundation Caregiver Fellow, I came across an email about the program and decided to apply. It's truly an honor to serve as a Fellow. Every day brings new lessons and opportunities to grow and advocate for others.
SDV Magazine: How did you first realize you were a caregiver?
Katherine: Caring for others has always come naturally to me. I've worked in the medical field and have always found fulfillment in helping patients--it's a deep sense of purpose. With Aaron, I often don't even think of myself as a "caregiver." To him, I'm more like a mom, and that's how I see our relationship too. It's only when others point out that I pause and realize--yes, I am a caregiver.
SDV Magazine: As a veteran caring for a veteran, what does Veterans Day mean to you?
Katherine: Veterans Day is deeply personal for me. I usually spend it quietly, reflecting on my own service in the Army and Navy--and the sacrifices of others past and present. Aaron doesn't enjoy crowds, but we like to support local vendors who serve the veteran community.
When we're out together, people often thank him for his service but overlook me--until he says, "She served too!" The looks that follow are always interesting. Some people thank me; others seem surprised. That experience made me start wearing my "Retired Veteran" cap on Veterans Day. I don't wear it for the recognition, but as a quiet reminder--to myself and others--that I served too.
SDV Magazine: How can caregivers like you get involved with the broader military and veteran caregiver community?
Katherine: That's the million-dollar question. The VA here in San Diego offers great programs, including in-person and virtual support groups. But as caregivers, time is our biggest challenge--it's not always easy to step away for meetings or join a Zoom call.
Caregivers can get involved with the broader military and veteran caregiver community through the Elizabeth Dole Foundation by joining the Hidden Heroes online community, participating in the Dole Caregiver Fellows program, engaging with local Hidden Heroes Communities, attending events and town halls, and sharing their stories to raise awareness and support for other caregivers. These opportunities help caregivers connect, advocate, and strengthen the nationwide network of support for military and veteran families.
SDV Magazine: California has one of the largest veteran and caregiver populations in the country. How do you see caregivers supporting each other and driving change across the state?
Katherine: California's size is both a blessing and a challenge. Our community is large but spread out, making in-person connections hard. I stay in touch with a few caregivers over coffee every few weeks--many prefer small, private settings where they can share openly.
Caregiver-led, informal groups could really help. Stigma and fear still linger--some worry that being honest might reflect poorly on them or their veteran.
Big group outings aren't for me--I find more value in small, genuine conversations where we can connect and support each other.
There's no easy fix--California's geography and traffic make gathering tough--but even small, personal efforts can build meaningful connections and strengthen our network.
Join our Hidden Heroes community at: https://hiddenheroes.org
Originally published in San Diego Veterans Magazine November 2025 issue