Tell us about your life before caregiving.

Before I became a caregiver to my husband, my life was fast-paced but structured. I was a divorced mom raising five children, all in school at the time, and my days were packed with parenting, attending their sporting events, band performances, and school activities. My time outside of being a mom was dedicated to my role as the Executive Director of our local Council on Aging, where I led programs focused on public transportation, community education, respite services, and food security.  

How did your life change when you became a caregiver?

Becoming a caregiver reshaped everything—my priorities, my work, and my emotional bandwidth. I didn’t just shift my schedule; I shifted my identity. I had always thrived in a fast-paced environment, but suddenly, I had to slow down and create space—not just for my husband Tomy, but for myself and our children. Caregiving required a level of presence that didn’t allow for much downtime, and I had to learn how to be fully there, even in the messiest and most uncertain moments.

What advice would you give to other military and veteran caregivers? 

You don’t have to be everything, every day. Some days, surviving is enough. Ask for help. Build your team, even if it’s small. Find a system that works for your household—not someone else’s highlight reel. You are the quiet strength behind someone else’s survival, but you matter, too. Your story is worthy. Your needs are real. You are not alone, even when it feels that way.