What are your biggest challenges as a caregiver?

Every phase of my daughter’s recovery brings overwhelming challenges, but three have been constant throughout: convincing doctors and therapists to treat Vanessa as a person, as opposed to an MRI image or a compilation of diagnoses; accessing care and resources amidst staff shortages and budget constraints; and ensuring my husband and younger daughter feel loved and valued, despite the current focus on Vanessa.

What do you do to maintain your own well-being?

I recognized immediately that I needed therapy. The accident occurred in December, but I was unable to access a mental health provider until April. When Vanessa relocated, I lost that support. I realized that my hairdresser has always been my default counselor, so I try to visit her as often as possible. Additionally, I consider my book club to be my "support group," and am grateful for these incredible women who actively support, listen to, and genuinely care for each other. I stay in contact with my closest friends and family and appreciate their grace when I don’t answer calls or texts immediately. Fresh air and sunshine are vital to my well-being—I enjoy walking, hiking, cycling, and any activities that allow me to be outdoors. I pray without ceasing.

What have you learned about yourself through your role as a caregiver?

I initially thought I knew what was best for my child as her mother. However, milestone moments occurred thanks to many people: friends taught her to use her phone and helped her eat and speak; her dad made her laugh; and her sister got her to mimic facial expressions and FaceTime friends. We all provide unique contributions. The term "caregiver" reflects the collective effort, rather than an individual role.