How did your life change when you became a caregiver?

When my wife’s medical conditions became worse, my life radically changed. I remained on active duty for a while for the stability it afforded rather than leaving the military. When her level of disability was finally evaluated and rated for benefits, and I was able to leave the military, I was careful not to overcommit my time to things outside of caregiving. Between my care responsibilities and health issues, I left a PhD program and went back into a non-research teaching role for a while.

What do you do to maintain your own well-being?

When I am able, I scuba dive, including cleaning the fish tanks at our local Aquarium. There is something very therapeutic about helping preserve the health of the sharks and sea turtles. I also utilize meditation to control my anxiety, and I use guided imagery (as well as photography) to stay grounded.

What have you learned about yourself through your role as a caregiver?

I have learned that I am more resilient and resourceful than I ever thought I could be. It has made me look at things from new vantage points that I never would have considered without this experience. I was a very “black and white” thinker prior to being a caregiver. I also thought life was largely a zero-sum event. I have learned that compromise and individual achievement are in fact compatible and can make the difference between happiness and difficulties.