How did your life change when you became a caregiver?

When I became a licensed massage therapist my intent was to volunteer with veteran organizations to work on phantom pain. All that changed when I started treating my veteran and realized how much Oriental massage techniques, specifically acupressure points, helped those with PTSD. When I officially became my veteran’s fulltime caregiver, I had to sacrifice life as I had known it because it took all I had to maintain my veteran’s stability while learning about his invisible illness and having to live together. The medications and appointments were nothing compared to all the other aspects of caregiving that were very new to me.

What have been your biggest challenges as a caregiver?

The biggest challenge I had in the beginning was people thinking, “He looks fine, so he must be ok,” not realizing how challenging invisible injuries can be for veterans. I also did not know anything about mental health or what kind of care he needed at the time. During this period, I realized how negative and ignorant people can be—even those closest to us—when it comes to the invisible injuries of veterans, how they are treated, and the toll it takes on both veterans and their caregivers.

Who are you outside of caregiving?

Who am I? As I tell my goddaughters, “When I grow up, I will let you know!” On a serious note, I really have no life outside of being a caregiver. At times, it takes all my energy as I feel as if I’m still walking on eggshells. Other days I feel I can get away and take some time for myself. It changes so much though that I don’t even plan for myself.  I do enjoy volunteering and have been doing so for the organization my veteran received his service dogs from. Recently, I have connected with another caregiver, and we try to meet up at least once a month and talk, laugh, and support each other.